How to write a father of the bride speech
How to write a father of the bride speech, with the traditional order of speeches, a simple structure, example lines and what to say about your daughter.
The father of the bride usually gives the first speech of the reception. It sets the tone for the rest of the afternoon: warm, welcoming and proud. Here is how to write one that does all three.
Your role in the running order
At a traditional British wedding, speeches follow the meal in this order:
- Father of the bride
- Groom
- Best man
Many couples now change the order, add a speech from the bride or maid of honour, or hold speeches before the meal so nervous speakers can relax and eat. Check with the couple before you write.
Your job as first speaker is to welcome everyone, talk about your daughter, welcome your new son- or daughter-in-law into the family, and toast the couple.
How long should it be?
Five to seven minutes, which is roughly 700 to 900 words. As the first speaker, you set expectations for length. A tight speech is a gift to the speakers who follow you.
A simple structure
The welcome. Thank guests for coming, especially anyone who travelled a long way. Thank the groom’s family. If you are hosting or contributing to the wedding, keep any mention of it brief and gracious.
Your daughter, growing up. Two or three short stories that show who she is. Choose moments that reveal her character: her determination, her kindness, her talent for getting her own way. Avoid a chronological life story; nobody needs every birthday.
Your daughter now. What you admire about the adult she has become.
Her partner. How you first met them, what you noticed, and why you are glad they are joining the family. A warm, specific detail is better than general praise.
Advice or a wish. Optional. Keep it to one line, and make it light.
The toast. Ask everyone to stand and raise a glass “to the happy couple” or to their names.
Example lines
- “When Emma was six, she announced she was going to be a vet, an astronaut and the Prime Minister. She has not ruled any of them out.”
- “The first time James came for Sunday lunch, he did the washing-up without being asked. Her mother decided on the spot.”
- “Emma, you have made us proud every day. James, welcome to the family. You have no idea what you have signed up for.”
Remembering those who are missing
If a family member has died, a short, gentle mention can mean a great deal: “We are all thinking of Emma’s grandmother today, who would have loved every minute of this.” Keep it to a sentence or two, then move on. Ask your daughter first whether she would like it included.
Delivery tips
- Print the speech in large type or on cue cards.
- Practise it aloud at least five times. The emotional parts get easier with repetition.
- Look at your daughter during the sincere parts, and at the room during the jokes.
- If your voice wobbles, pause and smile. Everyone will be with you.
Getting help
If you know how you feel but cannot find the words, a wedding speechwriter can interview you for half an hour and write a speech that sounds like you on your best day. It is a common request from fathers who want to get this one exactly right.
